CAPITAL CALL #8: BOND YIELDS, NUCLEAR POWER, & THE FUTURAMA FINANCE PLAN

Tariffs are back, baby — this time with a 50% side of Europe and a 25% sprinkle on your smartphone. We break down what that means for your iPhone payments (spoiler: don’t). We also talk about Nippon Steel’s love letter to U.S. Steel, Tesla getting lapped by BYD, and why Deckers somehow still sells Uggs. Drew nerds out over Japanese bond yields and explains how hedge funds pick up nickels in front of steamrollers. Quinn reads a Garfield calendar, and we resurrect John D. Rockefeller to talk dimes, dirty ledgers, and daddy issues. Plus: the White House speeds up nuclear permitting, and we ask the real question—should you bank with Big Apple Bank for the next thousand years like Fry from Futurama?