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CAPITAL CALL #15: Caffeinated Finance: Shorting Kohl’s Was a Mistake. So Was Touring the Fed with Trump.

The Millegan brothers are back and caffeinated—because nothing says “financial insight” like Celsius-fueled rants about Japanese mini trucks and tariff math that would make an IRS auditor throw their 10-key out the window. We cover everything from Powell’s hostage tour of the Fed building to why Kohl’s is apparently the new GameStop (but with real estate and fewer Reddit jokes).

We unpack why small caps are lagging, how inventories are running on borrowed time, and why tariffs are just taxes in a trench coat. Helen of Troy (HELE) makes a surprise appearance as a boring beauty brand with surprisingly sharp moves—and an undervaluation that shampoo alone can’t explain. Plus: dividends get dissected, bankruptcies are booming, and we deliver a short-selling masterclass that ends with... “please stop shorting companies that own $8 billion in property.”

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CAPITAL CALL #9: NOW WITH 100% MORE STEEL TARIFFS

Kohl’s explodes upward, tariffs implode in court, and crypto takes a turn for the medieval as a self-styled “Bitcoin king” decides kidnapping is a viable portfolio strategy. We break down the chaos in U.S.–China trade talks, including China’s demand for AI chips and America’s new favorite acronym: TACO (Trump Always Chickens Out).

Jamie Dimon goes full gloom-and-doom in a live interview, warning of bond market carnage just weeks after saying everything looked fine, which either means he’s hedging or auditioning for Treasury Secretary. Meanwhile, we explore the math behind steel tariffs (spoiler: you lose 75 jobs for every one saved), why the most American-made car still isn’t really American, and how free trade continues to confuse people with microphones.

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MARKET MOVES: LAUNCHING THE CAPITAL CALL PODCAST

Tariffs, tantrums, and $6 trillion in vanishing value—what better time for the first-ever Capital Call? On this so-called “Liberation Day,” investors were liberated mostly from their gains. Quinn and Drew, managers of the Woodworth Contrarian Fund, unpack policy chaos, circuit breakers, and why Kohl’s might just be the thrift store Picasso—buried under junk, but worth a second look.

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