The Millegan brothers are back and caffeinated—because nothing says “financial insight” like Celsius-fueled rants about Japanese mini trucks and tariff math that would make an IRS auditor throw their 10-key out the window. We cover everything from Powell’s hostage tour of the Fed building to why Kohl’s is apparently the new GameStop (but with real estate and fewer Reddit jokes).

We unpack why small caps are lagging, how inventories are running on borrowed time, and why tariffs are just taxes in a trench coat. Helen of Troy (HELE) makes a surprise appearance as a boring beauty brand with surprisingly sharp moves—and an undervaluation that shampoo alone can’t explain. Plus: dividends get dissected, bankruptcies are booming, and we deliver a short-selling masterclass that ends with... “please stop shorting companies that own $8 billion in property.”

Tariffs are back, baby — this time with a 50% side of Europe and a 25% sprinkle on your smartphone. We break down what that means for your iPhone payments (spoiler: don’t). We also talk about Nippon Steel’s love letter to U.S. Steel, Tesla getting lapped by BYD, and why Deckers somehow still sells Uggs. Drew nerds out over Japanese bond yields and explains how hedge funds pick up nickels in front of steamrollers. Quinn reads a Garfield calendar, and we resurrect John D. Rockefeller to talk dimes, dirty ledgers, and daddy issues. Plus: the White House speeds up nuclear permitting, and we ask the real question—should you bank with Big Apple Bank for the next thousand years like Fry from Futurama?